Right as Rain
by ArtsyNeurotic
Summary: This is an AU of the season 2 episode "D.O.A. : Delirious on Arrival" Basically, what if Lee hadn't lost Amanda's orange, and Lee ate the poisoned sandwich as intended, instead of Amanda? How would the poison affect a guy with a self-proclaimed "healthy sex drive"? Just a warning, it's totally explicit, lol.


As Lee walked into the office, Amanda was sitting there, greeting him with her usual wide-eyed, expectant face.

"Oh, Lee, do you have my orange?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, here… sorry about that." Lee tossed her the plump orb.

"Thanks," she smiled appreciatively, all but tearing into it. _She must be starved_ , he thought guiltily, _I shouldn't have been playing with it._

"Food's here! Chicken and white, extra mayo." Francine's brisk noisy walking step brought him out of this thoughts. He took the plastic package from her.

"That looks great, thanks Francine." He turned to Amanda, motioning with his sandwich towards Billy's door. "I'm just going to uh-"

"Mm-hm!" Amanda acknowledged through a bite of orange slices, waving him away lightly.

Lee entered Billy's office munching on a mouthful of chicken salad.

"No luck yet?" Billy asked, eyebrow raised.

"No, nobody's heard anything," Francine sighed.

"Nah, nothing… at least not yet," Lee replied.

The phone rang.

"Melrose here." Billy's deadpan stare perked into an alert one instantly. He handed the receiver to Lee. "I think you better take this one. It's Hans Retzig."

Lee swallowed the sandwich abruptly and cleared his throat, answering the phone. "What do you want, Retzig?"

"Heh, that's what I like about you Stetson, you're a bottom line kind of guy," Retzig sneered from inside his payphone booth.

"How about canning the small talk and let's get down to business, eh?" Lee bit back.

"Suits me," Retzing airily replied. "One of your departments has access to the new Striker One anti-aircraft missile. I'm giving you eight hours to get me a set of those blueprints."

The pure, self-confident attitude earned a scoff from Lee. "Well that'd be pretty generous of me. Why would I wanna do that?"

Retzig narrowed his eyes, grinning. "Because if you don't, you won't get the antidote."

Lee paused, frowning. "Antidote? What antidote?"

"For the poison in your sandwich. Chicken salad… _extra_ mayo."

Lee paled, eyes widening as his gaze instantly fell to the half-eaten sandwich on the table in front of him. _No…_ Billy and Francine looked at him helplessly.

A snickering voice on the phone interrupted his daze. "I'll be in touch."

The receiver dropped from his hand.

"Oh my god."

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* * *

The next hour was unpleasant for all involved.

Lee was rushed to agency doctors and specialists who ran him through various tests. His demeanor was already darkened from the stomach pump, but getting poked and prodded did little to improve it. Amanda was brought up to speed during these tests, and she watched as he grit his teeth and slowly got angrier and angrier as the hour passed.

Lee _did_ hate doctors and hospitals, Amanda reminded herself. But his behavior began shifting strangely as time went on. The doctors warned Amanda and BIlly about this, that the hallucinogens in that sandwich could alter personality, emotional states, in some cases even his _physical_ condition if things got bad enough.

He began pushing people away as they tried to perform tests. He did an inordinate amount of pacing around the room, even more than his _usual_ pacing. He also started murmuring things under his breath while wearing a rather unruly grimace. It was bizarre and occurring more frequently as time passed.

The drug was definitely coming into effect.

Billy knew he had to do something once they narrowly missed an altercation between Lee and a specialist trying to take a blood sample. The doctors had gotten all the info they possibly could at this point, and Lee's hatred of doctors had warped into a potentially dangerous physical manifestation, so Billy decided to make the call and get Lee out of the office for a while. The doctors suggested a location familiar to Lee; they rationalized that somewhere he recognized could calm him down and keep his behavior spikes to a minimum.

The task fell to Amanda to get Lee back to his apartment, and keep tabs on him until they had time to properly plan a course of action. A comfortable space and Lee's most trusted face… two things that Billy hoped would do the trick.

"Well, we're here," Amanda chirped as she opened the apartment door, carefully ushering Lee in. He had been strangely quiet on the ride over, his eyes now in a perpetual heavy-lidded state as he was led into his living room.

"Mm…" he half-responded.

She set down her bag and took her jacket off, laying them neatly on the coffee table to the side. Amanda sat with Lee on the couch as she peered at him.

"How are you feeling, Lee?" she ventured, "any better…?"

He swallowed, throat dry. "Still… still a little…" he cleared his throat, rubbing his forehead, "fuzzy…." He looked around absently, squinting. "Room's… blurry, hard to… hard to see…" His head bobbed a little turning to look at Amanda. He smiled slightly. "I can see you just fine, though…"

Amanda smiled back a little, fighting a blush as she realized how close his drunken looking dimpled smile was to her in that moment. "Well, I guess that's something at least."

Suddenly, Lee blinked quickly, clenching his jaw. His brows shifted. "Is it… is it hot in here?"

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "No, I don't think so. Are you feeling uncomfortable?"

His chest rose and fell. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm… I'm feeling really warm." He stood up quickly, pacing around the living room, noticeably confused but unsure of what to do. "So hot…"

Lee began pulling at his suit jacket, almost tripping over the coffee table. Amanda rose to help steady him.

"Look, Lee, maybe you should lie down, okay?"

"I'm fine, Amanda, I just-" he flailed around in his haze, unable to properly remove himself from the jacket sleeves.

"Hold on, hold on, let me help you," she chided lightly, grabbing hold of his shoulders to stop him from spinning around. Gently, she pulled his hands from the jacket and took it into her arms, steadying him in the process.

"Thanks, Amanda… I…" Lee barely kept himself from lurching headfirst onto the floor as he was hit with a wave of dizziness.

"Lee!" Amanda dropped his jacket as she barely pulled him upright in time.

"OooOOohh." Lee looked ready to pass out, thin beads of sweat starting up around his forehead.

"Let's get you to bed."

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* * *

It took little to no convincing to get Lee to lie down. He was still wearing the remainder of his suit as he flopped down onto the mattress. Amanda managed to slip his shoes off, but the rest seemed too unwieldy at that point. _Well I guess it's not the worst thing in the world if he sleeps in his suit_ , she thought. _It's more important that he rests._ His face was looking pink; was he getting a fever?

"So… warm…" Lee whispered.

"I'll get you some water, all right Lee?" Amanda called over her shoulder as she headed to the kitchen.

The heat was getting too intense for Lee. He imagined himself in a sauna, the humidity of the air giving him trouble breathing.

"Unhh…" he flailed around in his half-alert state, half-lidded eyes wincing as he tried undoing his dress shirt. His coordination was completely out of wack as he struggled with his buttons. He managed to pop open his shirt, but his arms were caught in the sleeves. Rolling around the bed, he somehow managed to tangle himself in his shirt even more, when suddenly his tie flipped up and got snagged in the headboard. As he rolled around, the tie looped around his neck a second time, and then on the third, he gagged.

The room was one big blurry haze and now something at his neck was strangling him. His eyes widened in panic, but was unable to free his arms to grab his neck, instead continuing to roll around on the mattress, inadvertently tightening the tie around his throat even more. He gasped.

"Amanda!" he croaked, straining.

"Okay Lee, I've got a nice glass of cold wa-" Amanda froze in the doorway as she saw Lee, arms tangled behind his back, tie tight around his neck, on the bed… and choking himself to death.

"LEE!" The glass of water promptly shattered on the floor as Amanda dashed to the bed. He was still rolling around in his panic, unresponsive to Amanda's efforts to get him to lie still. Desperate, Amanda jumped onto the bed and on top of Lee, straddling him to force him to stop rolling. With him finally still, she set about tearing his tie away from the headboard. With a loud rip, she separated it and loosened the knot on the tie, tossing the offending fabric away to the side of the bed. Lee coughed dramatically, sucking in air and leaning his head back with a thud onto the pillow. His arms finally worked themselves free of the shirt and splayed out, as he took in a few more grateful gulps of air. He rubbed his neck gingerly.

"Oh my gosh, Lee," Amanda brushed messy bangs away from Lee's sweaty brow, "Are you all right?"

"Y...Yeah…" Lee's scratchy voice answered, hazy eyes looking up at her. He looked exhausted, body glistening from the exertion. his brows were knit with the strain, chest still heaving. "...T..Thanks."

When things had calmed down, Amanda immediately realized what position she was in… astride a sweaty, half-naked man, and sitting right on top of his-

"Oh! I-" She started to lift herself off of him, when a hand shot up and gently took hers.

"A...manda.." Lee's hazel orbs peered at her through half-open eyelids. "Don't… don't leave…"

"But I should probably-"

His voice strained. "Please…" That same tone, just like that day at the train station. That deep, desperate need. "Please… don't … leave me…"

He brought her hand slowly to his chest, and pressed it to him. His chest was rising and falling heavily, and as she touched him she felt the heat, flush and pink across his collarbone. His face was turning pink as well, his expression almost dreamlike as his lips pursed slightly as he took deep breaths.

"Lee, you're really not feeling well, I should let you sleep..."

Lee took her hand and began slowly guiding it down his chest. Amanda swallowed sharply as she felt the warm heat across his muscles, tracing the faint lines along his abs. His chest wasn't one of those intensely chiseled types, but she could feel his muscles contracting and tightening against her touch. A groan escaped his parted lips.

A faint alarm bell rang in the back of Amanda's head. _He's not in his right mind… is he? He's under the influence of those drugs… I shouldn't be doing this…_ Her body tensed, and his could feel it. His hand loosened from hers a little, eyes looking hurt. She couldn't help but feel guilty at that sad expression.

"Please…" he couldn't formulate anything more complex than a few words at a time, his emotions smothering any other thought in his mind. Her eyes once again were attracted to his shallow breathing and pert lips. Her hand was still on his abdomen. "Please…." he moaned.

" _Amanda_ …" came the husky whisper.

She paused. Lee had always kept things at a distance. Even after all they'd been through, it was so hard to get him to open up. He was quick to anger, but rarely quick to spill his own secrets… but there were times that she thought, even for just a moment, that she saw the real Lee underneath. A look. A slight tint of jealousy. A faint twinge of concern. Now here he was, baring himself to her completely, more prone and vulnerable than he had ever been in his life. Could she really deny him when he needed her the most? She would be lying to herself if she wasn't a little flushed from this whole experience herself…

"Lee," she started slowly and clearly, caution in her voice. "Are you _sure_..? Are you **_sure_** about this?"

Though his head was swimming, there was a piercing moment of clarity that cut through the haze, and Lee's eyes gazed into her deeply. "Yes." No hesitation.

Amanda looked him over thoughtfully, brushing errant hair from around his ear. She had thought about this moment more than once, but never expected it would happen like this. She smiled hesitantly and caressed his cheek. His response to this was immediate as his hand tenderly brought her face to his and kissed her. Long and slow. Impossibly soft lips meeting hers and exploring gently, the heat radiating from him feeding him and spurring him on. She experimentally gently bit his upper lip as she pulled back and was rewarded with a guttural groan, his abs tensing and arching up against her in response. The arching made her quickly aware of the growing firmness underneath her. They came together again, lips connecting a bit more fervently this time, noisily, roughly. Lee eclipsed her hungrily, his breathing growing erratic and deep.

"Amanda…." his husky whisper returned, losing itself in her neck as his mouth worked its way to the curves of her clavicle. A gentle suckling there created an involuntary whimper from Amanda, which only served to motivate him further.

Lee sat up slowly and lifted Amanda, lowering from her seated position on top of him to laying down beside him. He brushed up against her, his bare chest pressed against her blouse. Amanda uncertainly stroked a hand down his chest, brushing past his nipple, which made him suck air through his teeth and swallow hard. His fingers clumsily fumbled under her blouse, opening it up and working their way up her back, stroking her in circles near her bra strap, taking in the touch of her supple skin. He kissed her again, his soft lips nibbling at her jawline and earlobe. His hand worked her bra free and was greeted with the warmth of a pair of round curves to play with. He rubbed her gently as her nipples hardened under his touch.

"Oh my gosh," she breathlessly responded.

Lee half-laughed and groaned as he ground against her. Only Amanda could make him laugh from such a wholesome reaction and make him hard at the same time.

Amanda noticed that as they continued, Lee was subconsciously slowly moving from a side-by-side position to him leaning on top of her. It wasn't his full weight, and the encompassing of his arms around her felt quite nice… but in that new position she became hyper-aware of the hardened bulge in the pants he still had zipped up.

And then Lee became aware as well.

Lee's breathing picked up, his warmth tickling Amanda's cheek, his mouth close enough for her to hear the moaning trickling through every breath, the taut pull of his rigid ab muscles when her fingers came close to his pants zipper.

Her hands paused there. _If I do this, there's no going back._ She licked her lips in momentary trepidation.

Lee's muscles trembled for a second at the promise of her touch. So close to unbuttoning him, but hesitating. He lost himself in a desperate whimper. " _Please….Amanda_ ," he hoarsely whispered in her ear. He was like a stretched rubber band, ready to snap from need.

Her fingers delicately released the button from his slacks, the zipper unfurling shortly after. He exhaled sharply as Amanda cupped him ever so slightly, and gave him a playful rub. It was all he could do to keep from thrusting into her hand right then and there. To refocus his fuzzy mind, his hands snaked around her hips, counting his blessings that today was apparently a skirt day. He traced down her hips to her bare legs, eliciting a surprised inhale from Amanda. He hummed deliriously in appreciation as he dipped under her skirt and followed the curves of her buttocks.

Amanda felt a resurgence of tingling warmth pooling in her lower midsection as Lee grew bolder in his exploration of her thighs. His fingers caught underneath her underwear and continued to trace her contours. His continued kissing distracted her momentarily, until a lone finger slipped under her radar (and under the front of her panties) and began experimentally rubbing her. All thought ground to a halt as she shut her eyes and bit her lips.

" _Lee_ ," she hissed almost imperceptibly, her breathing hitching as she squirmed. Lee grunted huskily in response and nibbled down her neck as she arched against him. His finger was soon joined by another, and the gentle strokes began circling around it, wetness aiding him in his movements. Lee's other hand deftly slipped off her panties.

After a few moments, there was a pause, and the fingers relented. Amanda regained a little sense to start questioning what was going on, when the fingers renewed themselves further down, gently pressing to enter her. Lee's breathing hitched; even in this pseudo-fugue state, some part of Lee was worried about hurting her. Caught up in the feeling, Amanda spread her legs just a little, to signal to him it was okay. The fingers acknowledged this and probed forward, exploring and caressing, and Amanda's world exploded into lights and colors.

" _Oh gosh, Lee_ ," she breathed.

" _Amanda_ ," he panted, "You don't… know how _long…_ I've wanted you…"

As he worked, she could sense him quickly beginning to unravel; her new sounds were breaking down the remainder of his self-control. His hard length was grinding against her leg; the heat emanating from him was tangible at this point. She gently pushed his arm back, fingers retreating from her.

Amanda touched Lee's face with one hand, and pulled at his shoulder with the other. Lee nodded silently and moved forward, kissing her hard. He positioned himself carefully… and entered her.

A heightened groan escaped Lee's lips an octave higher than Amanda had ever heard. "God…. Oh **_God_ **… Hunnhh…. **_Amanda_ **." He gasped in-between ragged breathing. He was overwhelmed by the feeling, the heat he was already drowning in, mixed with the way she felt around him. It was too much; it took all his willpower not to explode right then and there.

As Lee slowly began moving, Amanda pulled him closer and kissed him, their sounds muffled by their interlocking lips. Her hand found its way to his buttock and beckoned him further, as he pushed in deeper and broke their kiss to moan into her shoulder. They found a rhythm all too easily, as he hit that spot deep inside that rewarded him with a pleasured whimper from Amanda.

After a few moments he lost all control and began to fuck her in earnest. The rocking of the bed, the unintentional coordination of their panting and breathing and moaning. Lee calling Amanda's name like a sacred mantra. Amanda committing this feeling to memory. Their intense fire reached a peak and she came first, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. The ferocity of her cry pulled him over the edge and he came quickly after, a strangled cry of "God, **_Amanda_ **!" spilling inside her.

Now spent, his arms bracing him trembled, caressed by Amanda's loving hands. The room spun abruptly in Lee's head, and he tottered a bit, flopping down to the side.

"Lee, are you all right?" she asked him softly. He was practically radiating steam right now.

Lee had a lump in his throat and swallowed hard. He looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I… I'm as _right as rain_." He rubbed his eyes, which now felt incredibly heavy. "Just feeling… a bit much…" He turned to look at her. His feverish gaze softened and smiled at her. _Those precious dimples_ , she thought.

"Amanda, I…" Hazel eyes fixated on her. " _I love you_ …" he trailed off as his eyes rolled back and he passed out.

The shock stunned her instantly out of her afterglow. "What?" she panicked, sitting up. "Lee?" She checked his face. Burning up, but still breathing, as small puffs of air escaped his parted lips. _He's exhausted._ Amanda frowned, angry at herself. _I shouldn't have done that. I wonder if he'll still feel that way when this is all over._

Amanda reflected for a moment and then put her face in her hand, sighing. _I'd better get his clothes back on_ , she reminded herself. _If the agency were to drop by and find him like this, neither of us would ever live it down._

"Oh, and that broken water glass," she sighed again and mumbled out loud to no one in particular.

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* * *

Lee straightened his tie in Billy's office. The day overall had been one hell of a doozy.

He still had a terrible headache after taking the antidote, but otherwise felt fine. Amanda had regaled him with the tale of Lee taking down Retzig on a stage with a badminton racket while feverish and covered in white sand… it was all a lot to take in. He had to ask several times for clarification.

"At least the antidote worked!" Amanda said, relieved.

Billy smiled, patting Lee on the back. "Scarecrow, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Oh I'm fine, Billy," Lee replied. He scratched the back of his head. "I just wish I could remember what the hell happened."

Francine raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember _anything_ that happened earlier today?"

"Nah, nothing after I ate that sandwich," Lee replied.

Billy sighed. "Well, at least you're back to normal, Scarecrow. That's what's important."

"Yeah, thanks Billy, Francine." Lee waved them off as he and Amanda left Billy's office and stepped outside.

"Well, I'm sure glad that's all over with," Amanda said. "I've got to go pick up the boys, will you need me at all for the rest of today?"

Lee paused. "Oh, no, that's fine, Amanda. I'll check in with you tomorrow, okay?"

"All right," Amanda beamed. "I'm glad you're feeling better. See you tomorrow!" She turned and headed for the elevator. Lee watched her go silently. A small, warm smile crept across his face.

"Yeah… I'm as _right as rain_."


End file.
